Suspecting foul play, and fearful someone had hurt Iggy, I called 911. Here is how it went:
Me: Help! It looks like someone either kidnapped or worse! Killed Iggy!
911 Operator: Please calm down Sir. Where are you and what it the current situation?
Me: I'm at Bumper Hill...in front of Iggy's house! He's clothes are strewn all over the yard! I hope he's OK!!
911: An response team is on the way Sir. What is your name?
Me: My name is Iggy!
911 (pregnant pause): ...and you say Iggy...is missing?
Me (suddenly realizing I'm me...): Umm...Oh...you are so right!! Umm...Let's blame the drugs...
911: So you are on drugs, Sir?
Me (a trifle addled): Yeah...hard to get prescription drugs...wow, this stuff makes me feel groooooooovey!
911: The drug team will be there shortly. Don't go anywhere.
The first Policeman that got there walked around the crime scene brushing the donut crumbs from his beard and says, "WTF! Looks like a bunch of OCHA footprints here, I better call the forensic squad."
Me: Whistling Trackfoots? You think????! Why would they leave OCHA prints? I'm so confused...I really wish I hadn't taken these drugs...
The detective in charge comes up and says, "Oh my, looks like some OCHAs were impersonating someone again...I wonder what they were up to? I'll call Interpol."
Drug Squad Dude: Iggy, you idiot...lay off the percocets will you? Good thing you have a legitimate prescription or I'd be taking you in!
Thanks to Interpol's CSI consultant Tori Z, this whodunit was swiftly figured out. No, it wasn't Colonel Mustard, Mrs. Peacock, or Miss Scarlet - the answer lies here.
And now I got to think up something in the way of an explanation to tell the neighbors who came home just in time to see me taking pictures of my clothes in my front lawn...and they probably hope I don't take anymore pills.
7 comments:
LMAO! I was wondering what YOU were wearing if your clothes were strewn on the lawn.
step away from the pipe..put down that pipe..mugs trill er drugs kill
OMG I saw the picture of the clothes and I immediately knew what was coming. I HOWLED with laughter! By the time Jim ran upstairs to see if I was ok,, I had tears running down my checks I was laughing so hard. You and Tori made my day today. Huggsssss
Ditto from me (if you haven't figured it out yet, I accidentally posted my comment as Sugar) Maybe I need some of those high powered drugs....
Oh dear Heaven I missed alot today! Saw the clothes and didnt even THINK of the comments in Sugar's blog...simply thought "oh my, the percs are doing a job on him and he's taken to streaking in the November cold...."
LMAO!
Your secret password letter is D.
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