The Battle of Bumper Hill

At approximately 18 hundred hours - this is the situation - the car is parked a little too close to the slope of the lawn near the walkway steps - and a little too far from the garage door - putting the right portion of the rear bumper in a perilous position at the bottom of the hill.

At approximately 18-oh-five hours, yours truely, legs weary from walking 6 miles, is riding a red-coated lawn mower at the top of the hill - he spys tall grass growing on the slope so he decides to "hack down the enemy" on the slope.

Shouting "Charge!!!" at the top of his lungs, he rides the mower down the hill brutally beheading long rows of too-tall enemy grass - he is, in fact, totally fearless and unmindful of their "blades" pointing up at him.

At approximately 18-oh-five and 2 seconds, sweat pours from his forehead and gets into his eyes, blinding him of the danger that lurks at the bottom of the hill.

At approximately 18-oh-five and 2.5 seconds, realizing he is on a collision course with a solid green, basically immoveable object, he attempts to swerve, swear, and hit the brakes all at the same time. Unfortunately, multitasking is not his strong suit - and the legs, weary from the long march to the battlefield failed to activate the brakes sufficiently to halt the mower on its furious charge down the hill. If you must know, the swear came out beautifully.

At approximately 18-oh-five and 2.6 seconds, the mower comes to a complete thud-resounding stop.



Damage to the car was a scratch.



Damage to the mower was a dent - most noticeable near the MTD badge.

Damage to yours truely's ego - more than you might expect.

Result? Randy Travis' "Everything That I Own (Has Got A Dent)" gets a listener.