Instead, I have been kind of lost in thought this morning. As a little boy, I would often be down the shore in the late autumn months - a time when the air has a chill in it, the breeze is unpredictable, and the sea birds are making the best of their last chances before winter comes. The sky is usually brilliant blue and for the first time in many months, without humid haze, letting you see as far as you can see.
I would sit on a blanket high on the beach on the sand dune - the cool sand contrasting with the warmth of the sun in my face while wearing a sweatshirt and shorts and just look out into the water. The gulls would wheel about in the sky calling to each other and on occasion, a person or two perhaps with their dog, would walk by down in the sand made firm and wet by the waves - the wind blowing up at irregular intervals would momentarily upset the birds in flight and tug at the hats the people wore.
The sound of the surf at low tide would be gentle, the crash of the water muted, and the gurgle of the water running up and down the beach soft and soothing. Migrating sandpipers would scamper along the edge of the water, trying to keep from getting wet.
The sun would shine on the water, and its rippling brilliance would be too intense to look at for long, so the eye would wander away from that and perhaps see sailboats, late season fishing boats, and ships making their way to and from where ever they were going. As I sat there growing more and more sleepy, I would look to the horizon and think to myself, what would I see if I could see all the way across to the other side?
Later, I would learn from my Dad that the country of Spain was directly across the ocean, with England and Ireland off to the left, and Iceland even further to the left. The Rock of Gibraltar would be just to the right, and the wide expanses of the Sahara Desert (filled with camels in my imagination at the time) with tribes of Pygmies in the forests a little further to the right. Africa also had Elephants, Rhinos and the stray Lion or too.
I would usually fall into a sound untroubled sleep after looking across the ocean and seeing that everything that was supposed to be there (as I imagined it) was in its proper place. Sometimes a pygmy bearing a shield and spear would be looking back at me - and wave.
While walking yesterday I was thinking about the stars overhead at night. I've often been in places blessed with nearly complete darkness, the Florida Keys for one, and have laid on my back looking up at them - just drinking in their splendor. I would note the brightest stars as they seem to seek out attention, but let them go into the whole of the sky.
I almost always marvel at how many of them their are and how many I can be looking at - but cannot see. The vast dome of the night sky makes me feel most insignificant. The huge number of stars separated by the huge distances staggers my mind and my feeble ability to hold them in place and examine them. Unlike the beach, where I can imagine what I would see, if I could but see far enough - I cannot do this with the evening sky. My thoughts usually tumble into fragments and I end up wondering why I am here - what is my insignificant role in all of this?
I end up thinking I often look without seeing - but settle myself with knowing, looking without seeing is an everyday thing for me. I can look at a person and not truly see them - the sense of sight does not let me know what thoughts are running through their minds - and the variety of such thoughts might well be as numerous as the stars, ranging from, "does my dog really like the brand of pet food I get them?", "should I dye my hair?", "this traffic really sucks today", to the more elegant ones such as "Oh! 2003 was a good year for this wine" to "the Cubs won again and that will make someone happy."
I apologize to those of you that wanted to "go" to Maine - and for the length of this stream of semi-conscious babble.
6 comments:
The beach is one of my favourite places to sit. It never seems to matter what the weather is like, the waves always seem to evoke peace and calm within me. It is a great place to sit and let the mind wander, many problems have been solved laying on a towel on the beach, eyes closed listening to the waves.
The stars on the other hand effect me depending on my mood. I lay back and look up and wonder exactly whats out there. It seems so self indulgent to think we are the only ones.
Then there is the romantic side. The sky goes on forever, love is meant to last forever. There is nothing nicer than to be laying on a blanket with someone looking up at the night sky. Words never seem to be needed, just the knowledge that the person is there beside you is enough.
Wow. What a wonderful post. You wont hear me complain of anyone's "semi-concious babble" as my entries do that most times and casual reader would need a AAA Trip-Tik to navagate it when I go on one of my many tangents.
Nice post. Don't ever apologize for writing what you're thinking or feeling.
I often look up into the nighttime sky and see the milky way...with the millions and millions of stars. You can see that here in the country where there are no lights to interfer. Sometimes I say to Terri....wow, look at all those stars. :)
Nice post. *hugs*
I love your post and I have to tell you I sometimes ask the same question. Who amd I and why am I here? Why am I who I am and not someone else? I will never have an exact answer but I know I am meant to be whoever I am and for whatever reason.
hugs
That was definitely NOT semi-conscious babble.
I've been to the ocean, but never looked at it exactly as you have. I've never considered what's "on the other side." As countries (U.S., Canada, and Australia) we feel so important in the world, but as individuals in our own countries, we can seem almost insignificant. I'm just 1 of 300 million, I'm one star out of all the stars in the sky. Everything gets put in perspective.
I would love to experience the beach and ocean as you have described it.
A huge hug for you Iggy. I am reading your post while four kids are running around here playing. They are pretending to be the four stooges (Curly, Larry, Moe and Shemp). And yet with their laughter in the background, I got lost in your wonderful thoughts. The next time I am on the beach, looking out across the ocean, I will definitely be looking at things a bit different than I have in the past. Thank you!
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