Lost In Thought

Today I was talking to someone about death and the purpose of life and while taking a short walk to the Post Office, I mentally reconfirmed to myself that I did not honestly know what my purpose in life might be (or might have been for that matter).

I thought about my Grandmother who died a few years ago and thinking well – if she isn’t “here” anymore, she might be “there” wherever that might be, call it Heaven if you want. Somehow I didn’t want to let go of the idea she wasn’t “here” anymore so, I asked myself what of her remains? Her grave, her processions now scattered to wind, what still remains, her DNA? Yes, some of that remains; it is inside me, a part of me. She lives as memories, inside my mind. If I had children, she would become part of them, albeit in a diluted fashion (being only half of the amount I have in terms of DNA and less still in memories).

Might one be able to view Heaven as a place for what remains? There is a part of her encoded in DNA that lives on; “forever” being diluted by halves in each subsequent generation. The memories of those that knew her still exist but are slowly being extinguished by time. Things that she made, the hand knitted scarves and rugs, slowly being eaten away by time.

If she has no existence that we cannot perceive with our five senses, does this mean she has, in actually, none? And if she does not, is she slowly passing from existence as time marches on, ever diminishing but never gone until and unless all of her off-spring produce no more?

Is our purpose to perpetuate our ancestors? Is there more?

And as I opened the door to the office when I returned, my thoughts veered off on a tangent as they are wont to do. As a human, I am one-seven billionths of the whole – does this mean my “share” of the world is (currently) one-seven billionths? Am I responsible for the stewardship of that portion? And am I responsible for tending it? If there were no “inheritance of material property,” could we view passing along the world to our offspring in this proportional way? If I had two children, would they each, in turn be responsible for one-fourteen billionths? Putting aside the “responsibility”, would this allotment considered “equitable”? Does “be fruitful and multiply” mean to do so, until humans overrun the world? Is God’s plan (conjecturally) for us, really to rape the planet and starve to death en masse?

I wouldn’t begin to make a claim to know. Not even knowing what my purpose is – I’ve no glimmerings of an idea what humankind’s purpose might be.