Sunday, August 3, 2008

Correction to an Earlier Entry

As of August 4, 2008 at 7:00 AM
Steps: 4,285,146
Miles: 1798.65

You can well imagine my embarrassment when it was pointed out to me I had overlooked getting a picture of a three-eyed fish swimming upside down at the nuclear plant in New Hampshire.

This weekend I attempted to make amends and correct my careless, inexplicable oversight. I dedicate this entry to Lainie.

Unfortunately (or fortunately) there are no nuclear power plants on the Chester River near Chestertown and while I did get the picture of a common Tripod Newt Eater (scientific name: Tripodious Stiltenleggus) that you see below, I didn't get any fish pictures.

three legged bird catching a lizard

Fortunately my good friend Captain Chain Ree Action was able to send me a picture he took of one of his happy clients who recently caught a beauty.

fisherman holding orange three eyeed fish with nuclear power plant in the background

Captain Chain Ree Action's picture of a proud angler holding what appears to be at least a 10 pound! Seabrook Blinkey (scientific name: Homerus Simpsonoopsadous) - caught not far from the water intake inlets for the nuclear plant.

While the smaller Blinkeys can be caught using fireflies held near the water's surface by a bobber, the big ones are usually caught using an unweighted rig having a freshly activated light stick with treble hooks duct-taped to the tube.

Care must be taken to use a 6 to 8 feet of stainless steel leader as the Blinkey, when angry - such as when hooked - emits a neutron beam from his / her forehead of sufficient strength to melt (and thus break) ordinary monofilament at up to 3 or 4 feet. This steel leader must be discarded after any fish strike on the lure (light stick) as the metal is enfeebled by exposure and will not last more than one irradiation.

picture of orange three eyed fish swimming upside down

Seabrook Blinkey normally swim upside down and almost always never venture far from nuclear power plant intake ducts except to mate - at which time they will be found congregating around the outlet ducts or the place just offshore nearest to the reactor vessel.

And now the moment you have all been waiting for -

Cooking

1 filleted and deboned Seabrook Blinkey
Olive oil
butter
Seasoned boron salt
Pepper
1/2 c. bread crumbs per piece of fish, or more as desired
1/4 c. green onions or scallions or more as desired
1 c. fresh mushrooms, or more as desired

Prepare the fish by washing and dusting lightly in flour seasoned with the pepper and seasoned boron salt. Melt 2 tablespoons of butter in olive oil, saute 1/2 cup of onions or scallions as desired. Remove from the burner and in the same butter, brown the bread crumbs until all is absorbed. Finally, melt more butter and saute as much mushrooms as desired until tender.

Make a bed of the onions and bread crumbs in a large disposable aluminum baking pan. Lay the fish over this and cover with the mushrooms, a dash of wine sauce over the fish is also optional at this point.

Put pan in oven but DO NOT turn the oven on, the fish will cook itself in about 8 to 10 minutes - test doneness by pressing with a fork, fish should flake easily to the touch.

On a table set with paper tablecloth, serve fish on disposable tableware using high quality, but disposable eating utensils. Lead lined napkins placed in one's lap is highly recommended.

Clean Up

Wrap everything, cookware, eating utensils, soiled plates, napkins, EVERYTHING, in the tablecloth. Put in hefty trash bag and wrap securely with duct-tape and place in 55 gallon metal drum, fill voids with concrete and fasten lid tightly - put radioactive hazard signs on the outside of the drum. Take to nearest US government approved nuclear waste disposal unit which might be in Arizona, if the government ever gets around to building one.

a three eyed fish that might be found in the ocean depths

Seabrook Angler Fish - these deep sea fish found near underwater uranium ore outcroppings are poisonous and should not be eaten under any condition.

19 comments:

MarmiteToasty said...

ok, are you winding us up OR do the fish really truelly have 3 eyes? cos I can be quite gullible at times lol

x

ChicagoLady said...

ROTFLMAO! What awesome pictures of three-eyed fish! Who knew there were so many varieties? Or that there was a special way to prepare them? Does that recipe work without the mushrooms?

AliceKay said...

I'm glad you asked, chicagolady, because I don't care for mushrooms one little bit.

Intense Guy said...

Laffs@All of you. :)

Here we dish up mutant fish so radioactive that it cooks itself and needs toxic waste handling afterwards and you want to "hold the mushrooms". ROTFLMAO... I've not had such a good laugh in I don't know how long. :)

The mushrooms were symbolic... as in the mushroom clouds, but yeah, they are optional... LOL

LadyStyx said...

Oooh now that DOES sound delightful! How about we double the mushrooms and but substitute whole portobellos? That way Chicago and Alice can pick them outta their portions and give them to me. :D

Oh and use the sea salt...it's better for ya ;)

AliceKay said...

*picks out the portobello mushrooms and tosses them across the table at Styxie*

MarmiteToasty said...

Noticing they aint mushrooms that Alice is tossing but infact they are toadstools and StyX is gonna die by toadstool poisoning and Alice will be trialed for murder by toadstool

x

LadyStyx said...

WHOOOO HOOO!! Mushies!!!

LadyStyx said...

*notices marmie's comment that came just before mine*

*sniffs*

*gags*


*keels over*

Intense Guy said...

I just noticed that "my" three legged bird actually has four legs... I am almost positive it only had three before... yegads, its mutating before my eyes.

Lainie said...

Good Lord in Heaven Iggy your good friend Captain Chain Ree Action managed to capture the three eyed fish very nicely. That is one of the largest I have ever seen. (And I've seen plenty living so close to Little Chernobyl) I would also recommend when consuming the three eyed fish(any variety), it is good to use a hearty amount of fresh lemon. Not only does it add flavor but the lemon juice helps cut the radiation and helps with the unpleasant odor that sometimes radiates from the fish.
You've outdone yourself Iggy, thank you so much for setting the record straight. :-)

HUGS!

Karla said...

wonder if he can see better with 3 eyes?
and I want mushrooms too Styxie..share share
:P @AK

Deanna said...

OMG I am laughing so hard that I have tears streaming down my cheeks. Mutating fish... hold the mushroom, but I'll take my nuclear fish well done. You guys never disappoint me one bit. ROLFMAO.

Lainie said...

Hey Punkn, you don't know what you're missing. Mutating fish with mushrooms are all the rage on the Food Network! (Want some fries with that?)

AliceKay said...

I'm still thinking about toadstool poisoning and going to the slammer for murder by toadstool. LMAO(i'm sorry, styxie...i was misled. i was told they were mushrooms...honest) LMAO. *looks for that mushroom dealer again*

Hey, where are my fries?

Anonymous said...

ROTFLMAO!!!

LadyStyx said...

*gags one last time as left leg kicks in a spasm*

Intense Guy said...

*gently picks Styxie up and administers the anti-toadstool poison antidote (generic formulation with no HMO co-pay requirements) and watches her recover in no time at all - possibly even possessing super spiderman senses and powers*

MarmiteToasty said...

You all shouldnt laff about such serious things LOL

BE WARNED...

http://marmitetoasty.blogspot.com/2007/10/i-have-fairies-at-bottom-of-me-garden.html

read the above and live and learn..

Lordy forgive me..... :)

x