This undated entry was posted by me, the Custodian for the Real World Walker who remains in the care of the staff of the Norristown State (Mental) Hospital. This entry was found in draft form in the scattered pages of his journal. Scribbled on the margins was a note that said, "See if find U-tube with John Belushi doing SNL skit 'Star Trek - The Last Voyage of the Starship Enterprise'" followed by "Jim B. ugh!!" I visited him today at the hospital. His room, although plain, austere and padded, is bright and cheery. He was medicated and unable to talk to me but the hospital staff says, "He is has a long difficult road to recovery ahead of him."
The depths of his OCHA-OCD illness is disturbingly in evidence in the words below. May you live long and prosper. - The Custodian
Captain's Log Supplemental - We are traveling through the Delta Hydrant quadrant on an emergency mission to the Starbase on Epsilon Beta 6.
The Dunkin' Donuts there has run critically low on coffee beans, cream-fillings and donut sprinkles and the native police officers grow increasingly violent each day because of the this nightmarish shortage.
The Enterprise has been diverted from seeking out new life and going where no one has gone before... to preserve the peace.
[Whooping Siren - Computer Generated Voice 'Red Alert! Red Alert! Red Alert!']
Spock: Captain! An unidentified object has suddenly appeared in the direct path of the Enterprise.
Captain Kirk: Sulu! Bring us to a stop! What is it Spock!?
Spock: It appears to be an enormous, but quite ordinary, old earth style orange highway traffic safety cone. I am running a complete scan on it now.
Captain Kirk: Put it on the view screen Spock!
Captain Kirk: Sulu, plot a course around this thing.
Sulu: But Captain! It would take weeks at Warp 9 to go around it! This thing is huge!
Captain Kirk: Damn it! Those Police Officers need their donuts now!! Chekhov! Fire phasers!
Chekhov: Aye Sir!
Spock: Little to no effect Captain, the cone shows only minor and limited blistering to its surface.
Captain Kirk: Chekhov! Fire a full spread of photon torpedoes!
Chekhov: Aye Keptin!
Spock: Absolutely no discernible effect Captain.
Captain Kirk: Damn it! Those donut munchers need their coffee! Sulu! Just.. Just.. Just run over it!
THUD--UMP!!
Scott: Captain Kirk! What are you doing to me po'r Enterprise?
Uhura: All decks reporting no damage Sir!
McCoy: I bet that made you feel good Jim.
Captain Kirk: [Chuckles and Chortles] Yes, Bones, indeed it did, very good indeed.
To which Spock simply raises his eyebrow, but says nothing.
4 comments:
I hope the real world walker is taking his meds and listening to the doctors so he can join the real world again.
Captain Kirk: [Chuckles and Chortles] Yes, Bones, indeed it did, very good indeed. In fact it made me feel so good...reverse thrusters and run over it again!
~grinz~ Sorry ...couldnt help myself.
Cool idea you had Styxie, I made Captain Kirk an Ace. On Monday, I'll see about doing up some Dead OCHA decals for the car door.
O
M
G
*bursts into laughter*
Now I KNOW that Enterprise pic wasnt there before!!! Awesome job my friend, awesome job!!!
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