Show and Tell

No, I'm not planning on showing everyone my new boots and talking about them.

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This is about the bane of every school kid...late nights spent building the truly detested Diorama for Show and Tell.

With all the excitement over the recent sighting of the Big Muddy Ocha bouncing around in my head, I had a great idea that will be a boon to all school kids, young and old while showering this morning!

A really neat, sure-fire "A-plus", Diorama would show the Big Muddy Ocha in a raging flood of brown water!

Here kids! - This is what you need to get started!

Read these complete instructions on how to craft your own Ocha!

Once you have constructed your own little Ocha, you will need:

- A shoe box, piece of plywood, or stiff piece of cardboard
- A wooden clothes pin
- One Jar of imported Marmite - except NO substitutions
- One Jar of Peanut Butter (get an 'easy to spread' brand)
- A spreading knife, wall paper scraper, or putty knife
- One 3x 5 index card
- One pen or pencil
- Roll of scotch tape
- Small twigs

Options

- One, 2-4 inch high, glow in the dark Halloween skeleton
- Some chicken bones
- Some Popsicle sticks and some white Elmer's glue

Place the shoebox, plywood, or cardboard on a flat surface, like your Mom's fancy dining room table. Don't worry about making a mess, that cross-stitch table cloth your great-great Aunt Josephine made about hundred fifty years ago will protect the shiny wooden table and make cleaning up a breeze.

First you take the clothes pin and squeeze it over your nose so you can't smell anything.

Creatively position your little Ocha on the floor of your Diorama affixing it with some scotch tape.

Open the jar of peanut butter and liberally splosh it over the bottom of your Diorama. Then mix in all the Marmite, using its stiffness to make dark brown little swirls and waves. Be sure to slop some over the base of the ocha as this will hold him/her down once the gunk dries out a bit.

Place some small twigs in the water to make it appear like huge branches are washing downstream.

Label the 3x5 index card, using your pen or pencil. I suggest "The Big Muddy Ocha, Ocha's Bend, as discovered by Photojournalist Punkn, April 2009" and your name. Keep the 3x5 card safe, it will be placed in front of the Diorama when you display it with considerable (and very understandable) pride!


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Now if you want to embellish it a little because little Becky Goodyshoes always has these jaw-dropping Dioramas, heres an idea or two.

Take the Popsicles and glue up a raft.

Glue the skeleton to the raft and smoosh the raft and skeleton into the Marmite-Peanut Butter bondo mix. If you don't have, or can find, a skeleton, a couple small chicken bones from last night's, week's or month's chicken dinner (depending on how often folks clean up at your place) will be fine.

Be creative! Try some different placements and see if you can't give your Diorama viewer a shudder when they wonder if The Big Muddy Ocha ate someone.