Cast of "The Scary Real World"

As of January 10, 2008 at 11:15 AM
Steps: 691,343
Miles: 294.31

Roll the credits please!! - The actors (and/or actresses) would bow but they are rather modest, not to mention they are terribly stiff.

The cast of "The Scary Real World" in order of their appearance.

[Uplifting Trumpet Fanfare, not unlike that played for Star Wars]

Orange Line(s). These are lines marking where the new Verizon Fiber Optic network cables are to be laid.

Red Lines(s). These are lines marking where the existing Comcast Cable Company cables are.

The Landing Pad. This marking is to show where a "vault" or "junction box" is to be buried. The fiber optic cable pieces will be spliced together inside the box.

The Blue Arches. This marking indicates where a water main and shutoff valve lies under the street.

Magnetosphere Marking. This marking shows the direction and location of a water pipe. It is under the sidewalk in the scene from "The Scary Real World".

Flashing lights and rumbling noises. United Airlines Flight 4827 on approach to Philadelphia International Airport*.

*or similar.

A Short Green Square. Comcast Cable outlet and splice box

A Short Green Boxy. Unknown extra. Hopefully an accredited member of the Screen Actors Guild - their performance may be Oscar-worthy.

A Short Green Round. Verizon Land line outlet and splice box.

A Huge Green Boxy. Electric company transformer box.

The Angry Red Round with Probe. Fire hydrant.

Mr. (or Mrs.) Hydrant sends us a picture of him (or her) taken while on vacation and while not angry. Imagine all the makeup required for the role of Angry Red Round with Probe?!



The Tall, Aligned Slender Rounds. Gas Line vent pipe and marker poles.

The Orange Coneheads. Traffic control and warning devices. The silver one had reflective stripes for added visibility at night.

The Tail-Rooted (or Planted) Boxy Mouth. U.S. Mailbox.

The Large Man-Eating Blue Square. Port-a-John.

[Adjusts earpiece and listens to producer / director]

Late breaking News... one of the Tall, Aligned Slender Rounds sent a message to me - No, not via ESP, but in the form of a text message on my cellphone desperately asking me to help them. I put on my hard hat and boots and went to see what was causing their distress at Heebner Park.

Aghast at what I saw, I sent the kindly folks from PETA, People for the Ethical Treatment of Aliens (the website is rumored to be PETA but something about the website didn't look right to me) a most urgent alert! I've heard nothing from them yet. Perhaps those FEMA folks have infilitrated them.

Anyway, here is what I saw...


A Tall, No-longer Aligned Not-so-slender Round. Some human, or humans, had come along and hunted down... what to call them? his family? fellow compatriots? his (or her)* their? alignment buddies?

*Is it a "Him" or is it a "Her"? This is so awkward. I sent a text message back to the The Tall, Aligned Slender Rounds asking who was which and how do I tell. They haven't replied yet.


The "Trophy" Tall Slender Rounds. The victims were still at the scene loaded on top of the hunter(s) truck! My knees buckling, I resolved to print up a bunch of "Save the Tall Slender Rounds!" bumper stickers right then and there!


Oh the inhumanity of it all! Grey in death, tall slender and not-so slender rounds lie like whales washed up on a beach. My faith in my fellow humans badly shaken, I bring this matter to your, the gentle reader's, attention as I know not what to do. Can we fight City Hall (against all odds?) Can we use the Bat Signal with or without Commissioner Gordon's permission? ...and just where IS Superman?