Early this morning, while I thought I was safely hidden in the Witness Protection Program, a squirrel named Chuzzelwit boldly scampered over the fence and dropped a canister in the exercise yard. Everyone hit the floor in the trenches and even I, deep in the command bunker, waited for the blinding flash of an exploding grenade with my arms over my helmet.
The Squirrel War had escalated so rapidly, there had hardly been time to organize a defense. But while we waited, deep in the trenches, the seconds crawled by ...and nothing happened. I opened the tank-like hatch of the command center, and ignoring the screams of "Get down you fool" coming my men, I walked out and picked up the canister Chuzzelwit had risked his life to deliver.
After looking for booby traps (and thinking briefly of my colored feet), I opened the canister and found only a carefully wrapped picture inside along with a note. I silently read the note and looked at the picture you see below.
It turned out the Squirrel Paparazzi had only been a couple squirrels trying to earn their Photography merit badges and I had hurt poor Bushytail when I accidentally ran over his foot (paw) trying to get to work that fateful morning.
Looking deep inside me, I found myself full of shame and remorse. I had violated the prime directive that says, "Do not knowingly harm a wild animal" and I had also caused a young squirrel scout great trouble while he was trying to get a merit badge.
I ordered my men to lay down their arms and open the storeroom where we had stockpiled huge amounts of Squirrelitarian Aid so it could be disbursed. Acorns, Hickory Nuts, Sweet Corn, cots, blankets and medicine soon flowed across the De-Militarized Zone and the truce has held since this morning.
Soon, I am to meet with Bushytail and Nutkins to determine my fate. I hope the International War Tribunal court shows mercy on me and my misguided soul.
10 comments:
awwwwww that's a good sport...LOL
*laffz and moves along*
Aww, poor Squirrel Paparazzi. You should buy him a gingerbread house to camp in for a sorry present. :)
I wasn't too sure about this at first. But it seems the Tribunal Court was MORE than fair! lol
This "war" has worn me plumb out! Surely you shed a little tear as you gazed at the photo of the poorly mangled Bushytail.
Aww...poor Bushytail.
even a squirrel paparazzi should not be allowed to survive.
they is scum..and my cat Annie likes them with fava beans and a nice Chianti
It takes a big man to admit he was wrong, and to suffer the indignity of defeat.
I hope Bushytail heals quickly.
So enjoyed the war. Poor Bushytail.
*shaking me head at the loonieness* lol
x
Poor Bushytail! I hope he heals nicely... I also hppe they aren't too hard on you and take in to consideration the fact you saw the error of your ways when they're deciding what to do with you.
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