The Battle of the Sunflowers

Some time this spring, my neighbor across the street decided to put in a garden - for several evenings, he worked long into the darkness, turning turf and planting seeds. This spring was a wet one, and things grew green and rapidly. His next door neighbor noticed the gardening efforts and decided to join him with one of his own.

For many weeks, the two chatted with each other late into the evening while holding a garden hose on their garden plots, which appear to be about the same size. They also appear to have the same plants growing from them.


Then we had a really hot and dry spell - the lawns in my neighborhood turned brown (and actually black in spots) so the two sweated heavily each evening trying to keep their garden growing. They spent hours talking to each other - I assume they discussed some gardening tips. They may have also discussed sports, politics and religion. They may have even solved the world's problems.

But knowing them like I do, I doubt it. Their conversation probably went more like this:

Ed: Well, Rick, even hotter today than it was yesterday, huh?

Rick: Eh-yup, gonna get hotter yet before the weeks over.

Ed: Dang, I hate sweatin' so much. You got tomaters in your garden?

Rick: Eh-yup. Them and some them yeller summer squash. The missus really like them healthy foods.

Ed: Yeah. That they do. I got them "air-loom" tomaters. Dunno whud makes 'em different but the missus said, 'Ed, make sure ya plant some "air-looms"'.

Rick: Seems like they is growin' purty good.

Ed: Yeah. I seen that.


Rick: How's your cat doin' these days? Ain't seen ya out walkin' it lately.

Ed: Tinkerbell is doin' fine. She ain't like it out here in the heat much though.

Rick: You reckon cats sweat?

Ed: Naaaaaw... They just glow like wimmin do.


Ed: I think yer sunny flower plants must really like that horse poop you put down when ya planted 'em. Looks like they et whatever them bean plants in Jack in the Beanstalk et.

Rick: That weren't no horse poop, it was grade A 100 percent elephant crap. Got it when the circus was in town. Ya put it in a steel drum, add some water and stir it up so ya can fling it around with a bucket. I swear, the stuff really works.

Ed: Yeah, it sure does. Ah, I gots to try that next year. Were'dja get the steel drum from?

....


At any rate, this morning there was no question that their gardening had succeeded in growing the tallest sunflower plants I think I've ever seen.