And then there was one...

On Thursday afternoon, while cleaning up some odds and ends at work, I checked my email for some instructions on how I was to do some tasks and ... simply went home.

Back in the early 1990's, I left what is now GlaxoSmithKline (GSK) to go to work in a small start up company. My supervisor at GSK had gone there several months before I did, and had put in a good word for me there. While the work environment at GSK was turbulent from mergers and unsettled from several failed, critical computer-related projects, the environment at the new company promised to be exciting, full of growth, and challenging. It also paid well.

When I got there, I was greeted at the door by my old supervisor and another woman, a woman that was to have a huge impact on both my career and the way I do things professionally. The three of us were an inseparable team and I was now on the same level as my old supervisor - at least pay and title-wise. Talent-wise I will never be... I have written about the other woman (here) saying,

...an older woman I worked with on projects together with, 8-9-10 hours a day, who I greatly respected both in terms of her knowledge and her attitude, someone that bailed me out of a dozen or more jams - found out she had a lump on her breast. She ignored it and worked on. Finally she couldn't ignore it any longer and they operated - and thankfully she survived by the narrowest of margins - but her attitude changed as she came to realize that she had a family with two young girls and she, as a workaholic was missing out on things - she resigned from work and only later, when her girls were grown up, did she go back to work - by then I had moved on. Here, I know it's just selfish to think about what I lost, a mentor and able teammate - but in the end, I should be happy she learned to "smell the roses" in time.

Well, it turns out, she didn't escape the grim reaper. While she was "cancer-free" for about 12 years, in the end, the big "C" killed her. She never publicly complained, never fussed, never got depressed and never lost her "I'm gonna lick this thing" attitude. Nor did she lose that "I was awaken to smell the roses last time...I was soooo lucky!" attitude. She did was she said she was going to, she cut back on her work hours, enjoyed her children, her husband and her faithful dog. She often took time out to go to the beach and peer out to the horizon as well as deep inside herself. Thus steadied and refreshed, she went back to her daily battles.

The e-mail I got Thursday afternoon came just hours after her memorial service ended. Upset with missing my chance to say "goodbye," I simply went home.

Obituary

She was the Senior Director for Integrated Data Services, Global Clinical Operations for Johnson & Johnson - even though she resisted promotion with unjustified modesty.

I still need to say goodbye... somehow.

Gone Fishin'

No, not me. My mom and dad went fishing on the eastern most tip of Long Island, New York. My dad and I usually go in early May for a weekend and catch some Flounder.

My dad went there this July with my mom and apparently my mom taught him a couple lessons! Two 25 pound ones, as a matter of fact.


They (well my mom anyway!) greatly enjoyed the trip on the Rainbow Charters with Captain Bob Rocchetta out of Orient Point, Long Island.

They spent a couple days walking on the beaches "sound side" (looking at Connecticut in the distance) and swimming in the warmer waters on the "bay side". Since I have only been there in very early May (when it is usually about 50F), I've never seen anyone on the beaches nor have I ever been swimming there. My mom says, "You gotta!"

By the way, Captain Bob knows his Striped Bass! In 1981, he broke the long-standing IGFA All-Tackle World Record for striped bass with a 76 pound fish caught off Montauk and still holds the New York State record today.

Going To Try...

I'm going to try to post something today.

I've said that daily for about 4 weeks.

Then the motivation dribbles out onto the floor... and runs down the drain.

Deep breath.

Gonna try to "do it" this time...

It's been hard, really hard to find energy and motivation... one could blame this awful heat we've been having it... but I know that's not it...

Recently, I've been contacted by a "never met, distant cousin" who wrote to me saying, "Hey, would you be interested in some old photos we were given (from the settling of an estate) that appear to have the 'Mousley Crew' in them? We received several old boxes full of albums."

Of course, I said, "Yes!"


From the bottom, Franklin, Marshall, and Elmer. I've written about Franklin before, he with the diary dating to 1910-1912, and Elmer, an electrical engineer that helped set up one of the first trans-Atlantic radio stations in Tuckerton, NJ.

These gentlemen were my cousins, 3 times removed or my great-grandfather's cousins. They must have been a handful while growing up.

Which brings us to the connection between me and my "never met cousin" that sent me the photos.


Sarah "Sadie" Mousley was the wife of Thomas Charles Mousley and the mother of Franklin, Marshall and Elmer. I think I would have liked Sadie... there is something in her expression that hints of fine humor.

Thomas C., ran a brass foundry his father (my 3rd great grandfather) started in Philadelphia back around 1860.

Sadie's brother George Hammond had a daughter named Grace, who apparently assembled all of the recently uncovered photo albums. Sadie was Grace's aunt.


In the album are photos of Franklin, Elmer and Marshall as young boys and later men, in various locations like "down on the farm" "at the beach" (Wildwood, NJ) and what looks like somewhere in Philadelphia, likely the Mousley or the Hammond home.

Above we see in the back row (left to right): Marshall, Papa (George Hammond), Elmer, Thomas C., Leon(?) and in the front: Jas. W.(?), Mrs. S(treitz?), Sadie Mousley, Florence Sailor(?), and Franklin holding George (Hammond Jr.?)

I don't think Franklin changed much in his appearance over the years. I'm going to sort out the other photos and figure out who these other people are - hopefully soon.

There. I did it. I posted something. I need to give myself a high-five. Now to tackle several hundreds of unread posts you've written the past 6 weeks or more.

Got to try...

Thanks for Your Thoughts

I want to thank everyone for their helpful comments to my last entry. I had lunch with my mom yesterday and managed not to say anything that upset her (for a change). We had a pleasant meal, and I asked her if she knew what became of any of her former students.

My mom was a Montessori nursery school director and teacher for many years. She has several Master's Degrees and is probably one of only a small handful of "real and actual" Maria Montessori Method experts in this county.

She knew offhand the "what became of them" stories of a couple of her former pupils - One is a massage therapist in San Diego, California (who'd of thunk it?) and another is a lawyer working in the Philadelphia District Attorney's office (eew!) My thinking was, let's try to get forward thinking and off the "ancestors" for a little bit.

She smiled for the first time in a while. I asked her to make a list of those she remembered best. I plan to "track 'em down" and find out what they are up to these days. Perhaps some of them will want to re-connect with my mom and give her a "hello."

Over lunch, I gained some insight on her. My mom married young (her 55th wedding anniversary is comping up this June) and moved from Boston to Philadelphia - and soon had her hands full with three little boys. I discovered she lost touch with her various aunts and uncles when she did this... she in essence "traded" her family for my dad's "contentious, argumentative" lot. Her family (and roots) dropped away as she tried to fit in with (and make peace among) my dad's family.

My dad's family was a small one - he was an only child. Those family members that were "around" were put off by my grandfather - the heart of the issue was the "family business" and arguments over how it should be run. Further exasperating the "splits" was my grandfather's opinionated (read: bigoted) ideas on "the proper place for a woman" and the mark of a successful (proper) man being a "captain of industry" and most definitely not in Government or Military service.

As this photo shows - many of my grandfather's uncles and cousins where in the Navy (remember Commodore Franklin?) and therefore in my grandfather's eyes, they were all "worthless bums."


This is my dad - he is about 3 years old with Phil Hallworth and an unknown (likely a family member) companion. Philip Lewis Hallworth was a neighbor and worked in the engine room on the ships he served on while in the Navy. He eventually went deaf from the noise and died at a very young age of 44 from cancer. He is buried in Beverly National Cemetery in Beverly, Burlington County, New Jersey. He was my honorary "Aunt Bea's" first husband.

I need to write another entry sometime - showing another side of my grandfather - one that took in a young girl whose mother could not take care of her - just because she was family and it was "the right thing to do."

At any rate, I babble on... I wanted to thank you all for your thoughts. They were most helpful and most appreciated - as are each of you.