Tuesday, February 10, 2009

The HobOCHA from Hoboken

As you know, the economic downturn has been very hard on many people.

What you might not know is that it has been hard on some of the less fortunate OCHAs too.

A case in point, Billy "the Hobo" Conehead. Billy was born to plain and loving parents that were very, very poor. His father was never able to afford to get Lil' Billy a reflective stripe when he was growing up - and troubles plagued Billy at every turn. As a rebellious teenager, Billy ran away from home and got involved in petty thievery, drugs, booze and loose "working" female coneheads.

It wasn't until he had a run in with the law and spent some time behind bars that he found religion and was saved. Released to a halfway house late last year, Billy found work selling Christmas trees at a local corner lot.

corner lot selling christmas trees with a couple orange traffic cones standing in the middle of the trees

By dint of hard labor, frugalness, and an economic stimulus check, he was, at long last able to afford a couple stripes. Alas, the tree selling season was short and Billy was let go. Unable to collect unemployment, he fell on hard times - and in order to eat, he resorted to sifting through trash, looking for a morsel or two that would sustain him for another day.

an orange traffic cone sitting on top of a pile of trash

Now, Billy was a rough and tough lil' cone from the streets and it turns out he had a uncle that worked for the state - and with a little bit of political patronage lubrication (yes, I do mean a well-placed bribe), Billy got a really sweet job with the highway department that was complete with full benefits, a 4-week vacation plan, a guaranteed retirement plan, and even more priceless, a small amount of power, that he immediately (ab)used to make the ordinary taxpayer's lives miserable.

a sign saying you'll never get to work on time! ha ha ha! surrounded by orange traffic cones

Thanks to roving photojournalist LadyStyx for the first two pictures.

10 comments:

AliceKay said...

LOL

MarmiteToasty said...

Just getting in after a 2 hour session with me nvw assessor with 2 nippers in tow, and smiling from ear to ear with this post.....

Are you sure you do not type from a lunatic asylum? :)

x

Deanna said...

Priceless!
Where do you come up with these stories. Just priceless.

Great photos, Styxie.

ChicagoLady said...

The moose is loose!!!!

Celticspirit said...

Love the story. You are a good writer with a great sense of humor!
:)

Melissa said...

Random...I LOVE IT!!!

Anonymous said...

What a sweet story!

Jess said...

It seems OCHAs are a neverending source of funny storys and pictures!
Tres amusing - cheers me right up. xx

yellowdoggranny said...

who knew ocha's could have a more exciting life than me...well, hell...anyone can have a more exciting life than me..NOW...

MarmiteToasty said...

I saw a big yellow cone yesterday, Im wondering if it is one of our foreign neighbours coming over here illegally...... :)

x