Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
The swimsuits were hung on the clothesline with care,
In hopes that SpongeBob SquarePants soon would be there.
The OCHAs were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of sweet taffy danced in their heads.
And ma in her ‘kini, and I in my speedo,
Had just settled our heads for a short afternoon nap.
When out on the beach there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the couch to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the curtains and threw up the sash.
The Coppertone girl's full moon set the sand a'glow
Gave the harsh glare of mid-day to objects below.
When, what I had to share via my blog and phone,
Was a miniature keg, and drunk, loud orange cones.
With his very odd laughter, and his fry cook job,
I knew in a moment it must be SpongeBob.
More rapid than eagles his groupies they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!
"Now Simmons! now, Misses all! New York and Texas!
On, Georgia! Illinois! on Louis-ey and Connie***!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now splash away! Splash away! Splash away all!"
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
So up to the house-top the groupies they flew,
With the keg full of beer, and SpongeBob SquarePants too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and hawing of each little goof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney SpongeBob SquarePants came with a bound.
He was undressed all but pants, from his waist hung tinfoil,
And his skin was all glistened with sunscreen oil.
A six pack of beer he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler, just opening his pack.
His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose peelin' like scary!
His droll little chin was drawn up like a bow,
And the teeth in his mouth was as white as the snow.
His prized spatula he held tight in his teeth,
And his breath it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a broad face and a big square belly,
That shook when he laughed, like a fishes of jelly!
He was sunny and bright, a right jolly old soul,
And I laughed when I saw him, quite out of control!
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And refilled all the empties, then turned with a jerk.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose!
He drained the rest of the keg, while the cones whistled,
Then away they all went, chests puffed slick and chiseled!
And I heard Bob exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Summer to all, and to all a good-night!"
My apologies to whoever wrote "Twas the Night Before Christmas"...and my thanks to Queenie Jeannie for the Beauty Queens, Lady Styx for the left hand beach towel, ToriZ for the right hand beach towel and little clay cone, Alice Kay for Pooh and Party Cone, DeeDee for the big foam cone, Parsley for Prayer Cone and all of rest of you that put up with me.
:)
*** Gene Simmons, Miss Texas, Miss New York, Miss Illinois, Miss Georgia, Miss Louisiana, and Miss Confusion. I realize I'm a name short.
